"Hi! I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep."
"Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?"
"Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. ?Please speak very slowly and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets."
"Hello! You are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their pictures taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you."
"This is not an answering machine This is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number and your reason for calling, and I'll think about returning your call."
"Hi! This is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message and then wait by your phone until I call you back."
"This is you-know-who. We are you-know-where. Leave your you-know-what you-know-when."
"You have reached the number you have dialed. Please leave a message after the beep."
"This is 234-3249, and no, it's not Pete's Pizzaria. It's not the Credit Union either, and no one named Pam lives here. You can leave a message though."
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