Saturday, December 5, 2009

The Painter

Once there was a painter who was very poor. When his church needed repainting, the members of the congregation and the church elders got together, and when bids were considered for the job, offered him the job because while his bid was not the lowest it was close and he was of their congregation. So the painter bought paint for the job and set to work. When he got about three-quarters of the job finished it became apparent that he wouldn’t have enough paint. Well his bid was about as low as he could go and so he decided to thin his paint some so that it would spread farther. Well he got about half of the remainder done and concluded that he would have to thin what he had left just a little and his paint would stretch to cover the whole church.

Unfortunately, that night a terrible storm came to the town and when the painter was awakened by the crash of thunder he realized the thinned paint wouldn’t stick to walls of he church and would be washed away. Well the painter is panicked and realizes he has betrayed the trust put in him by his neighbors and that he will be shamed in front of everyone.

As soon as the next day has dawned, he rushed out of the house to the church and sees all of the thinned paint covering the lawn in front of the church. Faced with humiliation and possible ruin of his business, he does what is only natural and falls down on his knees and prays, "God," he says, "please forgive me and help me to see the error of my ways."

Just then the heavens open above him and he is bathed in a pearly radiance from above. A voice can be heard in the sudden stillness of the morning that rings as if it comes from Heaven itself, "Repaint and thin no more!"

Friday, December 4, 2009

Virus Humor

Coming to a hard drive near you, the worst computer viruses yet:

AT&T Virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you're getting.

Paul Revere Virus: Warns of impending hard disk attack -- once if by LAN, twice if by C:

Politically Correct Virus: Never calls itself a "virus." Instead, it's an "electronic microorganism."

Government Spokesman Virus: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.

Obama questions Michaele Salahi