Thursday, June 30, 2011

Daddy's Empty Chair

A man's daughter had asked the local minister to come and pray with her father.

When the minister arrived, he found the man lying in bed with his head propped up on two pillows. An empty chair sat beside his bed.

The minister assumed that the old fellow had been informed of his visit. "I guess you were expecting me, he said.

'No, who are you?" said the father.

The minister told him his name and then remarked, "I saw the empty chair and I figured you knew I was going to show up,"

"Oh yeah, the chair," said the bedridden man. "Would you mind closing the door?"

Puzzled, the minister shut the door.

"I have never told anyone this, not even my daughter," said the man. "But all of my life I have never known how to pray. At church I used to hear the pastor talk about prayer, but it went right over my head." I abandoned any attempt at prayer," the old man continued, "until one day four years ago, my best friend said to me, "Johnny, prayer is just a simple matter of having a conversation with Jesus.

Here is what I suggest." "Sit down in a chair; place an empty chair in front of you, and in faith see Jesus on the chair. It's not spooky because he promised, 'I will be with you always'. "Then just speak to him in the same way you're doing with me right now."

"So, I tried it and I've liked it so much that I do it a couple of hours every day. I'm careful though if my daughter saw me talking to an empty chair, she'd either have a nervous breakdown or send me off to the funny farm."

The minister was deeply moved by the story and encouraged the old man to continue on the journey.

Then he prayed with him, anointed him with oil, and returned to the church.

Two nights later the daughter called to tell the minister that her daddy had died that afternoon.

Did he die in peace?" he asked.

Yes, when I left the house about two o'clock, he called me over to his bedside, told me he loved me and kissed me on the cheek.

When I got back from the store an hour later, I found him dead. But there was something strange about his death. Apparently, just before Daddy died, he leaned over and rested his head on the chair beside the bed. What do you make of that?"

The minister wiped a tear from his eye and said, "I wish we could all go like that."

Monday, June 27, 2011

Bad Analogies

Do you like to write and commit your thoughts for others to read? If you want to write well, avoid these analogies that were actually written by high school students:
  • "Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze."
  • "He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree."
  • "McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup."
  • "The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't."
  • "John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met."
  • "Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at 35 mph."

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Hi-Tech Psalm

The Lord is my programmer, I shall not crash. He installed His software on the hard disk of my heart; all of His commands are user-friendly.

His directory guides me to the right choices for His name's sake. Even though I scroll through the problems of life, I will fear no bugs, for He is my backup.

His password protects me. He prepares a menu before me in the presence of my enemies. His help is only a keystroke away.

Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life, and my file will be merged with His and saved forever!

The Proper Work Ethic

Always give 100% at work:

10% on Mondays
25% on Tuesdays
45% on Wednesdays
15% on Thursdays
5% on Fridays

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Explaining the Existence of God

A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed. As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation. They talked about so many things and various subjects. When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said, "I don't believe that God exists."

"Why do you say that?" asked the customer.

"Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn't exist. Why are there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. I can't imagine a loving God who would allow all of these things" said the barber.

The customer thought for a moment but didn't respond because he didn't want to start an argument. The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop. Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty and unkempt. The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and said, "You know what? Barbers do not exist."

The barber was very surprised and asked, "How can you say that? I am here and I just worked on you!"

"No!" the customer exclaimed. "Barbers don't exist, because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards like that man outside."

"Ah, but barbers DO exist!" said the barber. "That's what happens when people do not come to me."

"Exactly!" affirmed the customer. "That's the point! God, too, DOES exist! That's what happens when people do not go to Him and look to Him for help. That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world."

Euro-English

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the"k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen ve vil tak over ze world!

Vel I zink I'l go to verk nov.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Meaning of Pro-Life

What does it mean to be pro-life? This short video sums it up with what the founding fathers knew to be true as they so eloquently stated in the Declaration of Independence:
"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."


Life may not be fair but everybody deserves a chance at it. God has given us the choice to serve him and live or to rebel and die, for that is what abortion is, the selfish desires causing the death of another human being.
"For this commandment which I command thee this day, it is not hidden from thee, neither is it far off. It is not in heaven, that thou shouldest say, Who shall go up for us to heaven, and bring it unto us, that we may hear it, and do it? Neither is it beyond the sea, that thou shouldest say, Who shall go over the sea for us, and bring it unto us, that we may hear it, and do it? But the word is very nigh unto thee, in thy mouth, and in thy heart, that thou mayest do it.
See, I have set before thee this day life and good, and death and evil; In that I command thee this day to love the LORD thy God, to walk in his ways, and to keep his commandments and his statutes and his judgments, that thou mayest live and multiply: and the LORD thy God shall bless thee in the land whither thou goest to possess it.
But if thine heart turn away, so that thou wilt not hear, but shalt be drawn away, and worship other gods, and serve them; I denounce unto you this day, that ye shall surely perish, and that ye shall not prolong your days upon the land, whither thou passest over Jordan to go to possess it.
I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live: That thou mayest love the LORD thy God, and that thou mayest obey his voice, and that thou mayest cleave unto him: for he is thy life, and the length of thy days: that thou mayest dwell in the land which the LORD sware unto thy fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give them." (Deuteronomy 30:11-20)

The Little Boy Down the Road

The Little Boy Down the Road:
Embracing a Father's First Priority

by Douglas Phillips

The Little Boy Down The Road
I have a little boy who waits for his daddy at the end of the street. For several years, we lived at the end of a long Texas country road. Every evening when I was away from home on business, my little boy would ask permission of his mother to take his little black and brown dog and his daddy’s blackthorn walking stick to make the half-mile journey from the house to the picket fence which marked the beginning of the dirt driveway.

One day, I was delayed in my business. Some seemingly all-important grown-up concern distracted me. I forgot about the faithful little boy down the road who might be waiting for his daddy.

On my way home, the floodgates of heaven opened. For several minutes, the rain was so thick that I could not see ten feet in front of me. All I could think of was finishing my journey and getting out of the rain. Finally, the downpour began to abate. It was only a drizzle by the time my car turned the last corner and approached the final street between me and a warm home and nice meal.

But in less than a fraction of a second, my business priorities, my concerns, and my grown-up thoughts would fade and vanish.

There was my little boy. He was holding a rickety umbrella in one hand, a walking stick in the other, and was wearing the biggest and most beautiful smile ever to grace the face of a little boy.

As I stopped the car and opened the door, he ran into my arms and held me long and hard. He was wet and shivering, but he never mentioned the rain, nor the hour-long wait that I later discovered he had endured just to greet his father. He simply said, “Daddy, I missed you. I am so glad you are home.”

All afternoon he had been thinking of one thing: his daddy. He had lived for the time he could make the journey to the end of the road and for that one moment when he would run into my arms and tell me he loves me. Like the dog beside him, his devotion and faithfulness would not even be broken by a tardy father and a rainy day. His day and his world revolved around that one moment when he could say to himself, “I am with my daddy again.”

One day we moved to a wonderful new home provided by the Lord for a special season in our lives. The little boy down the road is a little bit less little. We no longer have a long country road. Now we have a giant tree. It is often beside that tree that my little boy waits for me now, sometimes with his regiment of brothers and sisters, now old enough to venture beyond the castle walls of our home.

The tree is adorned with climbing ropes, with occasional buckets hanging off the limbs, and with the many markings of boys who thrill and delight to climb and conquer the kingdoms of trees. In the evening time, we sometimes have what we call “tree time.” This is a special thirty minutes when Daddy and sons climb into the tree and just talk. It’s a time for stories, for imagination, and for just being boys in trees.

But I have never forgotten the rainy day and the little boy and his dog. Often, perhaps a thousand times, my mind has wandered back to that scene. Like all events in our lives, it happens once and must be savored and treasured.

I think it was this day that I grew to understand what it meant when Jesus said that true Christianity is having the faith of a child. The evidences of this faith are simple love, unfeigned loyalty, and the passion—the all-consuming passion—to be with the Father.

How thankful I am that our Heavenly Father will never be distracted, lose perspective, or switch priorities away from His beloved sons. He will not leave us waiting, nor will He need rain and storms to refocus His attention on us.

Oh God, help us to be more like You, to have the simple faith of our children, and to understand that, more than anything else, our children crave a relationship with us, even as You crave one with each of Your children.

Someday my little boy won’t be waiting at the end of the road. Someday he won’t ask me to climb “our” tree to hear Daddy stories. Someday the wonders of bugs and butterflies will be exchanged for the dreams of noble manhood. Someday we will discuss what it means to love a woman. On yet another more distant day, we will look at new life and discuss, not only as father and son, but as friends, the joys of raising children for the glory of God. Perhaps even someday, we will live to see our children’s children walk in the grace of the light of God.

All of this by God’s grace and mercy. But for now, my little boy still likes to climb trees, to snuggle in the great big chair, to hug, and to wrestle on the ground with his five-foot-eight father, who, for just a few more years, appears to be an insurmountable giant. What a gift! What a gift!

You may not have a little boy down the street, but perhaps you have a little girl looking out the window, or a baby in the crib, or a young man on the phone. Whatever gifts of life God has given you, and in whatever stages of their lives you find them now, remember that this season is a gift from God which lasts for but a moment and will then be gone forever. Have the faith of a child.

The message of life is relationships. Don’t leave the little boy down the road waiting for long.