Sunday, July 31, 2011

The Oil Crisis

A lot of folks don't understand why we have an oil shortage in our country. There's a very simple answer: Nobody bothered to check the oil.

Our oil is located in Alaska, California, Coastal Florida, Coastal Louisiana, Kansas, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania and Texas.

Our dipsticks are located in Washington, D.C.

Any Questions?

Thursday, July 21, 2011

The NIV Bible

I'm no fan of the newer Bibles, all of which claim to the most accurate version to date because they are based upon "older and more reliable manuscripts." This is complete hogwash when you consider the fact that the King James translators had access to the same 44 manuscripts that the NIV and its ilk are based upon but rejected them because they were from questionable sources. For instance, do you know the NIV is only based upon 3 of those 44 manuscripts and it is rare that these three ever agree in just two successive verses.

David Daniels lays out the following scenario:
"Imagine a stadium with 5,366 people. 5,322 of them are in harmony, agreeing with one another and enjoying themselves. But there are also 44 other people. These are not like the first. They dislike the crowd around them and slander their words when they can. But have another problem: they also disagree with each other.

Which group would you rather listen to? The one with people in one accord or the one that is filled with discord. The one that knows what it is saying or the one that cannot agree on what to say? The answer is obvious."
 Answers To Your Bible Version Questions, David Daniels, pp.16-17

Interestingly, the director of Voice of the Martyrs has come out swinging against the NIV and its paraphrase translation.
New NIV “was written, it seems, by cowards for cowards” says Voice of the Martyrs Director

In the May 2011 print edition of Voice of the Martyrs, Director Tom White states, “I do not need to be shielded by a miserably comfortable religion, existing in what I call a numbed down Christianity. One current example of this dangerous numbing down of the Christian faith is the 2011 NIV Bible. It was written, it seems, by cowards for cowards. In Job, Amos, Psalms, Isaiah and Jeremiah, the translators have removed all 16 references to our greatest motive for evangelizing – the “shadow of death” – and replaced the phrase with “darkness.”[1]

Mr. White continues, “The words ‘shadow of death’ in the Old Testament are from the Hebrew word  ’Tsalmaveth,’ which literally means the ‘grave’ or figuratively, ‘calamity.’ The grave has been artfully removed. Now Job in his struggles never has to face death. He only faces some kind of internal ‘darkness.’ Today he could simply get a prescription to avoid this challenge.”[2]

1. Voice of the Martyrs May 2011, From The Director, pg. 2, “Taking the Bull by the Horns,” by Tom White
2. Ibid., pg. 2
There is a huge difference between a translator and a teacher. Click here if I've piqued your curiosity and you want to learn more about the many different bible versions and why they're not just "updating the words" but changing the meaning and deleting sections of God's Holy Word.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Letter From College

Leaving home and attending college can be expensive if money is not managed properly. The following is letter asking for help:
Dear Dad,

$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.

Love,
Your $on

It is a considerate father who knows how to help his son learn to fly on his own:
Dear Son,

I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.

Love,
Dad

Monday, July 18, 2011

Winning Business Slogan

Bob was tired of being a taxidermist after fifteen years and decided that working with living animals would be a nice change. Bob chose to attend veterinary school, but the problem is that his new business never got off the ground, so he decided to operate both his taxidermy and vet business together to save money. His new slogan was:
"No Matter What Happens - You Get Your Cat Back!"

Sunday, July 17, 2011

How Are You Feeling?

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court.

The trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. "Didn't you say at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,"' asked the lawyer.

Farmer Joe responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the..."

"I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted, "just answer the question. Did you not say at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'"

Farmer Joe said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road..."

The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the highway patrolman on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."

By this time the judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say."

Joe thanked the Judge and proceeded, "Well, as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear ol' Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans.

Shortly after the accident a highway patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and said, "Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her. How are you feeling?"

Conforming to the image of Christ

"Christians don't tell lies - they just go to church and sing them."
-- A.W. Tozer

"It's Jesus - only Jesus"
-- Denny Kenaston

"To the degree that I'm willing to submit to God, He is able to change and conform me to the image of Christ."
-- Jerry Benjamin

"The greatest glory Jesus brought to God was not when he walked on lthe water or prayed for long hours, but when he cried in agony in the Garden of Gethsemane and still continued to follow God's will, even though it meant isolation, darkness and the silence of God. Thus, we know that when everything around us fails, when we are destroyed and abandoned, our tears, blood and dead corpses are the greatest worship songs we have ever sung."
-- Ziya Meral

"One of these days some simple soul will pick up the book of God, read it, and believe it. Then the rest of us will be embarrassed."
-- Leonard Ravenhill

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Big John Doesn't Pay!

A new bus driver was driving his route and there were no problems for the first few stops as a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well. At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. He was 6' 8" tall, built like a wrestler and had arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the driver and said, "Big John doesn't pay!" and sat down at the back.The new driver was small in stature and wasn't happy with the answer but he didn't argue with Big John.

The next day the same thing happened as Big John got on and made a show of refusing to pay and sat down. And the next day, and the one after that, and so forth. This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of him.

Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building courses, judo, and all that good stuff. By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong; what's more, he felt really good about himself. So on the next Monday when Big John once again got on the bus and said, "Big John doesn't pay!" The driver stood up and and screamed, "And why not?" With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, "Big John has a bus pass!"

Christ's Call

"Christ's call is to save the lost, not the stiff-necked; He came not to call scoffers but sinners to repentance; not to build and furnish comfortable chapels, churches, and cathedrals at home in which to rock Christian professors to sleep by means of clever essays, stereotyped prayers, and artistic musical performances, but to capture men from the devil's clutches and the very jaws of Hell. This can be accomplished only by a red-hot, unconventional, unfettered devotion, in the power of the Holy Spirit, to the Lord Jesus Christ."

-- C.T. Studd (1860-1931) Missionary to China, India and Africa.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Shaved by Grace

There was a small church in a rural community who pastor doubled as barber to make ends meet. In this small community happened to be a man who had invested wisely and was enjoying his newfound comfort. This man got out of bed one day to go through his daily routine and looked into the mirror as he was about to shave and decided, "I make enough money now, I don't have to shave myself. I'll go down to the barber and let him shave me from now on." So he did.

He walked into the barbershop and found the preacher/barber was out calling on the shut-ins. His wife, Grace, said "I usually do the shaves anyway. Sit down and I'll shave you." So he did. After she finished shaving him he asked, "How much do I owe you?" "$25," Grace replied. The man thought that was somewhat expensive and that he may have to get a shave every other day. Nonetheless, he paid Grace and went on his way.

The next day, he woke up and found his face to be just as smooth as the day before. No need for a shave today, he thought, well, it was a $25 shave.

The next day he awoke to find his face as smooth as a baby's bottom. Wow! He thought. That's amazing, as he normally would need to shave daily to keep his clean-shaven business look.

Day 3, he woke up and his face was still as smooth as the minute after Grace had finished. Now, somewhat perplexed, the man went down to the barbershop to ask some questions.

This particular day the pastor was in and the man asked him why his face was as smooth as it was the first day it was shaven.

The kind old pastor gently retorted, "Friend, you were shaved by Grace ... and once shaved, always shaved."

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Who'll Take The Son?

A wealthy man and his son loved to collect rare works of art like Picasso to Raphael. They would often sit together and admire the great works of art. When the Vietnam conflict broke out, the son went to war. He was very courageous and died in battle while rescuing another soldier. The father was notified and grieved deeply for his only son.

About a month later there was a knock at the door. A young man stood at the door with a large package in his hands. He said, "Sir, you don't know me, but I am the soldier for whom your son gave his life. He saved many lives that day, and he was carrying me to safety when a bullet struck him in the heart and he died instantly. He often talked about you, and your love for art. The young man held out his package. "I know this isn't much. I'm not really a great artist, but I think your son would have wanted you to have this."

The father opened the package. It was a portrait of his son, painted by the young man. He stared in awe at the way the soldier had captured the personality of his son in the painting. The father was so drawn to the eyes that his own eyes welled up with tears. He thanked the young man and offered to pay him for the picture. "Oh, no sir, I could never repay what your son did for me. It's a gift."

The father hung the portrait over his mantle. Every time visitors came to his home he took them to see the portrait of his son before he showed them any of the other great works he had collected.

The man died a few months later. There was to be a great auction of his paintings. Many influential people gathered, excited over seeing the great paintings and having an opportunity to purchase one for their collection. On the platform sat the painting of the son. The auctioneer pounded his gavel. "We will start the bidding with this picture of the son. Who will bid for this picture?" There was silence. Then a voice in the back of the room shouted. "We want to see the famous paintings. Skip this one." But the auctioneer persisted. "Will someone bid for this painting? Who will start the bidding? $100, $200?" Another voice shouted angrily. "We didn't come to see this painting. We came to see the Van Gogh's, the Rembrandt's. Get on with the real bids!" But still the auctioneer continued. "The son! The son! Who'll take the son?"

Finally, a voice came from the very back of the room. It was the longtime gardener of the man and his son. "I'll give $10 for the painting." Being a poor man, it was all he could afford. "We have $10, who will bid $20?" "Give it to him for $10. Let's see the masters." "$10 is the bid, won't someone bid $20?" The crowd was becoming angry. They didn't want the picture of the son. They wanted the more worthy investments for their collections. The auctioneer pounded the gavel. "Going once, twice, SOLD for $10!"

A man sitting on the second row shouted. "Now let's get on with the collection!" The auctioneer laid down his gavel. "I'm sorry, the auction is over." "What about the paintings?" they cried. "I am sorry. When I was called to conduct this auction, I was told of a secret stipulation in the will which I was not allowed to reveal until this time. Only the painting of the son would be auctioned. Whoever bought that painting would inherit the entire estate, including the paintings. The man who took the son gets everything!"

God gave His son 2,000 years ago to die on a cruel cross. Much like the auctioneer, His message today is, "The son, the son, who'll take the son?" Because, you see, whoever takes the Son gets everything.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Michele Bachmann's Christian Zionism

Epidemic Bubble of Discordant Faith

Charles E. Carlson Jul 1, 2011

The wave of Judeo-Christianity, popularly known as Christian Zionism, seems to be a prerequisite to American presidential candidates today. It can be best thought of as an acquired mental illness because it results in discordant actions among those who admit to having it. Unfortunately some are in public office, and then it becomes the business of each of us. Christian Zionism has grown so large that it is fair to call it a religious bubble, and is the number one enabler of the economic and moral dilemma that faces the USA and other north American states.

Most victims of Christian Zionism, like those who develop a tragic eating disorder known as Anorexia Nervosa, can not see their illness and need help to recover from it. I am told by professionals who treat them, that many Anorexics victims will eventually starve themselves to death if not treated, and most are said to resist treatment. It is has finally been acknowledged to be a disease even thought it is self induced, and I do not pretend to have a clinical replantation. But I do know what causes Christian Zionism. It is taught, and no one is born with it, but it is a sickness because those who have it cannot see it nor can most seem to get over it without some outside help or tutorage. It is a social problem because those who have it act in ways that are often discordant with and anathema to the well being of the rest of the population in several distinct ways.



Christian Zionists cannot see the lack of common sense they portray to others, and they overlook multiple Bible inconsistencies taught to them by their spiritual leaders, who tell them they and Zionists are the beautiful members of God's society, and all others are ugly by comparison. What makes Christian Zionism so dangerous is that it is promotion by those who benefit from it politically, and by institutionalized recruitment by those who profit from it directly, the leaders. It now inflects as much as 33% of USA voters.

Anorexia nervosa seems to serves no one, but Christian Zionism serves one important national political end, it enables serial wars that serve the interests of investment bankers, Warmakers, and that state of Israel. It is in turn supported by persons, powers, and a media that would not for a moment believe one word of what Christian Zionists teach. Most obvious among these promoters are the Israel Lobby and the Serial War lobby, which overlap.

Because Christian Zionist is a mental illness, and not a coherent faith, it allow little tolerates nor debate. This is evident from many personal letter and calls I have received since I began writing about it many years ago. One recent reader wrote of the painful and inexplicable separation that developed between himself and two long time male friends who each distanced from him without a word, no longer returning phone calls or answering e-mails, over discussion of what seemed to him to be a normal political questions. My reader finally realized the nerve he had hit, without knowing it, was Christian Zionism, though he never directly addressed that topic to his friend. Many readers have told us painfully about close family members who stop communicating all together once the subject of the state of Israel is broached in religious context, sometimes broken over a single offhanded statement.

My own family was characterized by heated partisan political argument about Democrats and Republicans at family gathering. But these did not drive the family apart, rather it brought a vitality to gatherings that drew them back together at every opportunity. The arguments were strident but instructional and thought shaping for younger onlookers. Some of us looked forward to maturity when our views might be heard in these family harangues. But no such honing of views can exist in a setting where even one Christian Zionist is present. Far from crating kinship and love within the family, it creates separation.

Most Republican party candidates appear to cater to, if they are not themselves Judeo-Christians, because so many votes are at stake. Michele Bachmann from Minnesota, is said to be a serious candidate for US President and is a living example of discordant and bazaar thinker, but she will resonate with some 70 million Americas who are know to be influence by the the Judeo-Christian illness. Here are some of her words from he own website that should be carefully examined:
"Most American recognize that Israelis and American are two sides to the same coin because we share the same values...we even share the same mission, to be a light to the nations.. "

"We learned that our Christian Faith is rooted in Judaism." Without the laws of Moses, without the Temple (at Jerusalem) there would have been no sermon on the mount."

"It was this love for Israel and the Jewish state" that brought me to volunteer for a kibbutz in 1974.

"Upholding American values"...means "we must stand with Israel." "I stand with Israel... "our policies in the Middle East must be guided by this imperative."
It is clear to this author that Bachmann can not function in national office under oath because her first commitment is to another flag, not to USA, to another people, not to Americans first. Other irrational belief common to and defining Christian Zionist that she might or might not admit to, and that are incompatible with following a traditional Jesus Christ, include:
  1. Wars are just, if they are Israel's wars...
  2. The present world will be destroyed by God to punish the evil doers, and the Christ followers will be save and ushered into a spiritual kingdom, the rest left behind.
  3. The state of Israel is God's fulfillment of the Old Testament prophesies (Jesus too).
This bubble is about to burst, as all bubbles do. Fortunately for the Americas, Judeo-Christianity is coming apart at the seams from its own weaknesses. Next time, the end of Judeo-Christianity, based on a study by the Pew Forum.

We Hold These Truths
http://www.whtt.org