The Bible In 50 Words or Less...

God made
Adam bit
Noah arked
Abraham split
Joseph ruled
Jacob fooled
Bush talked
Moses balked
Pharaoh plagued
People walked
Sea divided
Tablets guided
Promise landed
Saul freaked
David peeked
Prophets warned
Jesus born
God walked
Love talked
Anger crucified
Hope died
Love rose
Spirit flamed
Word spread
God remained

You know you're a liberal if...

You pale at the execution of child killers, but defend the killing of unborn children as an expression of choice.

You think trees have feelings, animals can conceptualize and the fetus is a blob of protoplasm.

You think a moment of silent prayer at the beginning of the school day constitutes government indoctrination and an intrusion on parental authority, while sex education, condom distribution and multiculturalism are values-neutral.

You agonize over threats to the natural environment (acid rain, toxic waste) but are oblivious to threats to the social environment (pornography, promiscuity and family dissolution).

You want to legalize cocaine and outlaw handguns.

You think cops are pigs and criminals are products of their environment.

You believe the National Rifle Associations helps criminals while the American Civil Liberties Union protects the innocent.

You believe corporate profits are obscene but government spending is too low and the American people are undertaxed.

You think deficits are caused by tax loopholes.

You think marriage is obsolete -- except for homosexuals.

You believe homosexuality is genetically determined, but fascism and spouse abuse aren't.

You think AIDS is spread by insufficient funding.

You are convinced that proponents of welfare reform hate the poor and opponents of affirmative action hate minorities, but AIDS activists and People for the American Way types who go psycho over Protestant "fundamentalists" are guardians of democracy.

You attribute every minority problem to entrenched, institutional racism and the legacies of slavery and segregation.

You view race riots as justifiable expressions of rage over injustice and fail to see the similarities between a black mob burning a Korean store and a white mob in the Jim Crow era lynching a black man.

You don't understand all of the whining about affirmative action and are more than willing to sacrifice someone else's employment or education opportunity to assuage your guilt.

Lastly, you're a liberal if -- you don't get the point of this column.

-Excerpts from a column by Don Feder

When Does Life Begin?

When does life begin in the womb? It's an all important to question that determines when a baby is given the rights described in the Declaration of Independence:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

This following clip from the movie, Come What May, makes the abortion argument look silly because they play around with the concept of life and when a fetus actually becomes a human being. It all comes down to the question, "When does life begin?" The answer is so simple that a child can understand it but adults just can't seem to grasp it. Life begins at conception and it's an event that only happens one time in each person's life.

Pray Without Ceasing

"Pray without ceasing" (1 Thessalonians 5:17). There is a great difference between prayer and the life of prayer. Almost everyone prays, but very few pray without ceasing. This is the habit of devotion. This is the altar of incense ever burning in the Holy Place. This is the fragrance of a heart that lives in the presence of the Holy One, and breathes the very life of God. This is the deep undertone of a sanctified life. It is from this that the sweetness, the gladness, the holiness, and the helpfulness come. Lord, teach us the habit of prayer, the prayer that springs spontaneously from the heart, and which neither secular duty, satanic temptation, nor the waves of sorrow, can interrupt, but which is only stimulated by the things that try us, until every experience becomes transformed into an occasion for communion and fellowship with God.

-- A. B. Simpson

Biblical Headlines

On Red Sea crossing:
WETLANDS TRAMPLED IN LABOR STRIKE
Pursuing Environmentalists Killed

On David vs. Goliath:
HATE CRIME KILLS BELOVED CHAMPION
Psychologist Questions Influence of Rock

On Elijah on Mt. Carmel:
FIRE SENDS RELIGIOUS RIGHT EXTREMIST INTO FRENZY
400 Killed

On the birth of Christ:
HOTELS FULL, ANIMALS LEFT HOMELESS
Animal Rights Activists Enraged by Insensitive Couple

On healing the 10 lepers:
LOCAL DOCTOR'S PRACTICE RUINED
"Faith Healer" Causes Bankruptcy

On healing of the Gadarene demoniac:
MADMAN'S FRIEND CAUSES STAMPEDE
Local Farmer's Investment Lost

On raising Lazarus from the dead:
FUNDAMENTALIST PREACHER RAISES A STINK
Will Reading to be Delayed

Planned Parenthood Supercenter

Planned Parenthood is once again targeting neighborhoods with strong black and latino populations. This racist organization is accomplishing two things: they want more money and to weed out the undesirables of society. Watch the following video, it should make your blood boil.

Fake Gold Bars at Fort Knox

I'm sure you've heard about the legendary Fort Knox, you know the place where they store all that gold to back the dollar? Well it turns out that millions of the gold bars stored there and around the world are fake! Gold is important because it's always been a trusted and reliable means of saving wealth. For example, in the year 1900, a twenty dollar bill and a twenty dollar gold coin would both buy you a new suit. But that's not true today.  The gold coin would still buy you a new suit today but the twenty dollar bill will only buy you a tie because of inflation. That is why the following story is shocking because "someone" has been messing around with the world's gold supply.

Fake gold bars in Bank of England and Fort Knox