Church Signs

Have you ever been driving down the road and tried to read the church sign out front? Here are a few that are funny and serious:

• Exposure to the Son may prevent burning.
• In the dark? Follow the Son.
• Under same management for over 2,000 years.
• Soul food served here.
• Tithe if you love Jesus! Anyone can honk!
• Don't give up. Moses was once a basket case.
• Wal-Mart isn't the only saving place!
• Prevent truth decay. Brush up on your Bible.
• Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives.
• It's hard to stumble when you're down on your knees.
• What part of "THOU SHALT NOT" don't you understand?
• A clear conscience makes a soft pillow.
• Never give the devil a ride. He will always want to drive.
• Running low on faith? Stop in for a fill-up.
• Can't sleep? Try counting your blessings.
• If you can't sleep, don't count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd.
• Forbidden fruit creates many jams.
• If you don't want to reap the fruits of sin, stay out of the devil's orchard.
• Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins.
• Christians, keep the faith -- but not from others!
• Satan subtracts and divides. God adds and multiplies.
• To belittle is to be little.
• Don't let the littleness in others bring out the littleness in you.
• God answers kneemail.
• Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world!
• It is unlikely there will be a reduction in the wages of sin.
• Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!
• People are like tea bags; you have to put them in hot water to find out how strong they are.
• Where will you be sitting in eternity? Smoking or non-smoking?
• No God - No Peace. Know God - Know Peace.
• Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!
• An ad for a Church had a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that read, "For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets."
• Come in and pray today. Beat the holiday rush.
• When down in the mouth, remember Jonah. He came out alright.
• If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns.
• If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again.
• Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon.
• This is a ch_ _ ch. What is missing? U R
• Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church.