Good Signs
- Boat is in the water and bilge pumps are not wailing at full speed.
- Fire extinguisher hasn’t been used up.
- You don’t have to take a submarine ride to view it.
- Lifejackets strapped to outside of hull to “help it float.”
- 460-horsepower outboard engine that you have to pull start.
- The stern is held on with duct tape.
- Owner says, “She floats better in salt water.”
- Teak hull has turned black with mold.
- Biggest safety feature is the word “HELP” painted on the bottom of the hull.
- Bullet holes across the cabin.
The Red Green Book
© 1997 by Steve Smith and Rick Green
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