Tips on Buying a Home

Thinking of buying a new home? Or an old home? Or a cottage? Here are some things to look out for and some thing to watch out for when buying something that is going to put you in hock for the rest of your days.

GOOD SIGNS

• The owners are still in country and alive.
• No large animal droppings in the attic.
• Glass in all the windows.
• It was not built on an ancient burial ground where many graves were disturbed.
• You're allowed to inspect all the rooms.
• Nothing breaks off when you touch it.
• More than fifty feet from all major airports, railways, dump sites and active volcanoes.
  

BAD SIGNS

• The word "!redruM" is carved in the walls.
• Their grandfather is included in the price.
• The real estate agent warns you not to walk in the middle of the floors where it's soft.
• The sellers are "very motivated" to sell because they fear for their children's safety.
• High-water marks on the basement walls.
• Turquoise kitchen appliances.
• Bullets holes in the bathroom.
• The real estate agent says you can't flush the toilet until after you've bought the place.
• The house has been treated for termites nine times in the last two years.

The Red Green Book
© 1997 by Steve Smith and Rick Green

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