1. A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED
We still have no idea.
2. EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM
We just hired three kids fresh out of college.
3. CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION
We know who to blame.
4. MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH
It works OK, but looks very hi-tech.
5. CUSTOMER SATISFACTION IS DELIVERED ASSURED
We are so far behind schedule the customer is happy to get it delivered.
6. PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE
The thing just blew up when we threw the switch.
7. TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING
We are so surprised that the stupid thing works.
8. THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED
The only person who understood the thing quit.
9. IT IS IN THE PROCESS
It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless.
10. WE WILL LOOK INTO IT
Forget it! We have enough problems for now.
11. PLEASE NOTE AND INITIAL
Let's spread responsibility for the screw up
12. GIVE US THE BENEFIT OF YOUR THINKING
We'll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn't interfere with what we've already done.
13. GIVE US YOUR INTERPRETATION
I can't wait to hear this!
14. SEE ME or LET'S DISCUSS
Come into my office, I'm lonely.
15. ALL NEW
Parts not interchangeable with the previous design.
16. RUGGED
Too heavy to lift!
17. LIGHTWEIGHT
Lighter than RUGGED.
18. YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT
One finally worked.
19. ENERGY SAVING
Achieved when the power switch is off.
20. LOW MAINTENANCE
Impossible to fix if broken.
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Worm Redistribution
A little humor for those of you who have a garden and know the rigors of pulling all those pesky weeds.
Now when it comes to human beings, work harder because there are millions on welfare depending on you.
Now when it comes to human beings, work harder because there are millions on welfare depending on you.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Computer Error
Bob was having trouble with his computer. So he called Tim, the computer guy, to come over to the office. Tim clicked a couple buttons and solved the problem.
He gave Bob a bill for a minimum service call, and as he was walking away, Bob asked about the problem?
Tim replied, "It was an ID ten T error."
Bob didn't want to appear stupid but inquired nonetheless, "An ID ten T error? What's that just in case I need to fix it again?"
Tim grinned.... "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?"
"No," Bob replied.
"Write it down," Tim said, "and I think you'll figure it out."
I D 1 0 T
He gave Bob a bill for a minimum service call, and as he was walking away, Bob asked about the problem?
Tim replied, "It was an ID ten T error."
Bob didn't want to appear stupid but inquired nonetheless, "An ID ten T error? What's that just in case I need to fix it again?"
Tim grinned.... "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?"
"No," Bob replied.
"Write it down," Tim said, "and I think you'll figure it out."
I D 1 0 T
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Alvin Greene
Alvin Green is an unemployed Army veteran who lives with his parents and the 2010 Democratic Senate candidate for South Carolina. He stunned state Democratic leaders when he defeated Vic Rawl without any kind of support whatsoever. Greene beat Rawl with 60 percent of the vote despite not having a job, a house, a website, yard signs or campaign headquarters. Greene put no effort into the race whatsoever other than paying the filing fee and having his name at the top of the ballot. So who paid his $10,000 filing fee? It is obvious that someone did and the speculation is running wild.David Axelrod, a senior White House advisor is suspicious of Greene's victory and I agree. How can an African-American man with strange origins, suspicious funding, shady associations, no experience, no qualifications and no demonstrable work history come out of nowhere and win an election? We're still speaking of Alvin Greene and not Barack Obama right?
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Council of Idiots
The Sacramento city council ignored rule of law on Tuesday and voted to enact economic sanctions against the state of Arizona. According to The Sacramento Bee, this means the city would forbid "city workers from attending conferences in Arizona on the city's dime, boycotting companies based in Arizona 'where practicable and where there is no significant additional cost to the city' and potentially canceling current contracts with firms from Arizona."
Why would they do such a thing. Well it seems that Arizona got tired of the federal government not doing its job of securing the border to Mexico and decided to take the matter into their hands by having the local police enforce the immigration laws. Mayor Kevin Johnson is leading the council in this new "civil rights" movement in which The Bee quotes Councilman Robert Fong as saying the city is "standing on the right side of history."
How about standing on the right side of the law? Isn't that more important? Only Councilman Robbie Waters had the intelligence to vote against such nonsense and wondered how many city staff hours had been wasted in this witch hunt by looking at Sacramento's contracts with Arizona.
Opponents of Arizona's immigration law are trying to make this into a civil rights issue but this is nothing like the discrimination blacks faced in fighting for equality. Anybody who enters the United States of America illegally is a criminal. Plain and simple. It is not a civil rights issue but of law and order. I am sick and tired of the political whores who denounce the immigration law and call for economic sanctions of anything related to Arizona. Liberalism is truly a mental disorder.
Why would they do such a thing. Well it seems that Arizona got tired of the federal government not doing its job of securing the border to Mexico and decided to take the matter into their hands by having the local police enforce the immigration laws. Mayor Kevin Johnson is leading the council in this new "civil rights" movement in which The Bee quotes Councilman Robert Fong as saying the city is "standing on the right side of history."
How about standing on the right side of the law? Isn't that more important? Only Councilman Robbie Waters had the intelligence to vote against such nonsense and wondered how many city staff hours had been wasted in this witch hunt by looking at Sacramento's contracts with Arizona.
Opponents of Arizona's immigration law are trying to make this into a civil rights issue but this is nothing like the discrimination blacks faced in fighting for equality. Anybody who enters the United States of America illegally is a criminal. Plain and simple. It is not a civil rights issue but of law and order. I am sick and tired of the political whores who denounce the immigration law and call for economic sanctions of anything related to Arizona. Liberalism is truly a mental disorder.
Israel's Flotilla Lies
by Ted Pike
June 14, 2010
As nearly 700 “Free Gaza” flotilla survivors return to 20 nations, they bear witness to the same message—all five vessels, bringing aid to Gaza, were attacked by Israel. Preliminary shooting, including live rounds, came from Israeli attack boats and helicopters. All passengers were poorly, if not roughly, treated or assaulted. Are these the ravings of terrorist sympathizers, worthy of attack – as Israel and its PR rep, the ADL – as well as most evangelicals, contend?
The flotilla carried professionals, public officials and parliamentarians – including a member of Israel’s Knesset. Those contradicting Israel's story include a Brazilian filmmaker, a retired German parliamentarian and professor, two German parliamentarians, an acclaimed Swedish academic, an Irish Ulsterman with American citizenship, an Irish medical doctor, a retired Jewish-American math teacher, an American structural engineer, a best-selling Swedish novelist and an Israeli-born Swedish artist. The subsequent flotilla of ships included former United Nations Deputy Secretary-General Denis Halliday and Irish Nobel Peace Prize Laureate Mairead McGuire.
The nearly 700 members of the flotilla speak with one voice but incredibly Christian/conservatives reject testimony from these credible witnesses and accuse them of crafting an elaborate and bizarre falsehood. The British Guardian tells us, “The details of the wounds came as yet more survivors return to the UK and gave their account of the attacks.”
Citing the coroner’s report of the Turkish government, the Guardian suggests that Israeli commandos were hardly intent on non-violence. It relates that Furkan Dogan, the 19-year-old American-Turkish activist, was shot 5 times from a close range: in the right side of his nose, the back of his head, his back, and twice in his left leg. The oldest victim was 60-year old Ibrahim Bilgen, a Turkish politician, engineer and activist, who was married with 6 children. He was shot once in the right temple, once in the right side of his chest, once in his back and once in his hip. Cetin Topeuoglu, a 54-year-old former taekwondo champion who worked as a coach for the Turkish national team, was shot three times – once in the back of his head, once in his hip, and once in his belly.
Here is a summary of the other seven:
If Israel had really intended non-violence, it could have snarled the ships’ propellers and rudders with no loss of life. Negotiations could have occurred in daylight to allow the orderly, nonviolent transfer of command. Instead, Israel chose to take over the ships in darkness in the most terrifying manner. It was a terrorist attack.
If Israel is so intent on sharing the whole truth, and has no need of a “biased” international investigation, why did it sabotage the flotilla passengers’ communication with the outside world before, during, and for days after the raid? Why did Israel seize their cameras, computers, and notebooks? Why does Israel insist that in its investigation IDF forces involved in the raid will not be questioned? Clearly, Israel wants no contrary voices as it propagandizes the world – including 70 million gullible evangelicals and their media who are eager (in fact, theologically duty-bound) to believe Israel.
Most evangelicals will probably remain uninterested in more evidence from survivors in the weeks ahead and be content to believe anything Israel says. By prostituting their God-given birthright to speak only the whole truth, Israel-first evangelicals have gone theologically and politically insane.
Read the full article
June 14, 2010
As nearly 700 “Free Gaza” flotilla survivors return to 20 nations, they bear witness to the same message—all five vessels, bringing aid to Gaza, were attacked by Israel. Preliminary shooting, including live rounds, came from Israeli attack boats and helicopters. All passengers were poorly, if not roughly, treated or assaulted. Are these the ravings of terrorist sympathizers, worthy of attack – as Israel and its PR rep, the ADL – as well as most evangelicals, contend?
The flotilla carried professionals, public officials and parliamentarians – including a member of Israel’s Knesset. Those contradicting Israel's story include a Brazilian filmmaker, a retired German parliamentarian and professor, two German parliamentarians, an acclaimed Swedish academic, an Irish Ulsterman with American citizenship, an Irish medical doctor, a retired Jewish-American math teacher, an American structural engineer, a best-selling Swedish novelist and an Israeli-born Swedish artist. The subsequent flotilla of ships included former United Nations Deputy Secretary-General Denis Halliday and Irish Nobel Peace Prize Laureate Mairead McGuire.
The nearly 700 members of the flotilla speak with one voice but incredibly Christian/conservatives reject testimony from these credible witnesses and accuse them of crafting an elaborate and bizarre falsehood. The British Guardian tells us, “The details of the wounds came as yet more survivors return to the UK and gave their account of the attacks.”
Citing the coroner’s report of the Turkish government, the Guardian suggests that Israeli commandos were hardly intent on non-violence. It relates that Furkan Dogan, the 19-year-old American-Turkish activist, was shot 5 times from a close range: in the right side of his nose, the back of his head, his back, and twice in his left leg. The oldest victim was 60-year old Ibrahim Bilgen, a Turkish politician, engineer and activist, who was married with 6 children. He was shot once in the right temple, once in the right side of his chest, once in his back and once in his hip. Cetin Topeuoglu, a 54-year-old former taekwondo champion who worked as a coach for the Turkish national team, was shot three times – once in the back of his head, once in his hip, and once in his belly.
Here is a summary of the other seven:
- Alquyz: 4 gunshot wounds - back of head, side of face, back, leg.
- Yaldiz: 4 gunshot wounds – chest, left leg, right leg twice.
- Bengi: 6 gunshot wounds – chest, belly, right arm, right leg, left hand twice.
- Topeuoglu: 3 gunshot wounds – back of head, left side, right belly.
- Yildirim: 2 gunshot wounds – right shoulder, left back.
- Kiliclar: 1 gunshot wound, middle of forehead.
- Songur: 1 gunshot wound – front of neck.
If Israel had really intended non-violence, it could have snarled the ships’ propellers and rudders with no loss of life. Negotiations could have occurred in daylight to allow the orderly, nonviolent transfer of command. Instead, Israel chose to take over the ships in darkness in the most terrifying manner. It was a terrorist attack.
If Israel is so intent on sharing the whole truth, and has no need of a “biased” international investigation, why did it sabotage the flotilla passengers’ communication with the outside world before, during, and for days after the raid? Why did Israel seize their cameras, computers, and notebooks? Why does Israel insist that in its investigation IDF forces involved in the raid will not be questioned? Clearly, Israel wants no contrary voices as it propagandizes the world – including 70 million gullible evangelicals and their media who are eager (in fact, theologically duty-bound) to believe Israel.
Most evangelicals will probably remain uninterested in more evidence from survivors in the weeks ahead and be content to believe anything Israel says. By prostituting their God-given birthright to speak only the whole truth, Israel-first evangelicals have gone theologically and politically insane.
Read the full article
Lowering the Standard
The message of the Gospel is not having the same transforming power it once had because Christ's ambassadors are changing the message and effectively presenting a false Gospel. Revival is born out of a obedience to God and His commandments and looking to Jesus, the Author and Finisher of our Faith. Sinful living is looking at those around us and observing their standard while ignoring God.
"Religion today is not transforming people; rather it is being transformed by the people. It is not raising the moral level of society; it is descending to society's own level, and congratulating itself that it has scored a victory because society is smilingly accepting its surrender."
--A. W. Tozer
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